YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
