the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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