If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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