In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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