i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
