I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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