shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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