two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
