so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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