Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
