two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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