Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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