remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
