I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
