Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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