singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
