Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
