And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
