Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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