He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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