it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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