I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
