Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
