She went from zero to smokin in five shots
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
