Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
