are you so shy because you have an std?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize
