I accidentally had phone sex last night
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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