Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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