I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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