Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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