Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
