I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
