office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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