Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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