at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
