u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Your mouth is God's brothel.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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