fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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