come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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