i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
