So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
