What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
