Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
