my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
