Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize