Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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