You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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