My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
