she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
