i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Sorry my hands just texted you
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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