it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
