She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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